Birthday blues?

It's my birthday sometime this week and for some strange reason, I actually have expectations this year. 26/06/22.

Dear Diary,

You know, I had written 7 entries in this ‘My Diary’ before I went off track and treated this space like a regular blog. I’m thinking I want that to change, especially because I came across some of my old journals and felt that jab of nostalgia at all those old memories contained within them. So yes, I will be doing that here so that I can come back in a year for a fresh dose of nostalgia. Deal?

So, again; dear diary,

It is my birthday this Saturday and for some reason, I feel expectant. Of what? I do not know. My last 5 birthdays or more passed without much fancy, mostly because I was never interested in celebrating them and did not put any pressure on those around me to even try to help me celebrate. Last year was a bit different, and quite special, it was my final year in school and my closest friends came together to pull off a sort of get together at home for me. Thinking about it now, it was wonderful and I’d give anything to have that stir fried spaghetti and turkey combo again. Whew! I miss my friends!

But back to this year, for the first time, I had plans. Amanda would probably say that I am confused but I really did have plans πŸ˜‚. I guess I should actually call them wishful thinking because I put no action to those plans. Early in May, I wanted to go to Ibadan with two of my closest friends but sometime in May, I cancelled those plans. I had to channel most of my money into a new venture so that could not work. So much for my plans to visit a new city this year but we move – there’s still 6 months left in this year, right?

Next, I decided I wanted something small at home; close friends, lots of chocolate cake (which I’d probably eat three quarters of and give only quarter for my guests to share because I LOVE chocolate cake), tasty non-alcoholic red wine and plenty food too (especially turkey and puff puff). However, I forgot one teeny-weeny detail, I am NOT hostess material. Lol. I’d rather be imprisoned than have people over then have to clean up afterwards. Maybe Amanda and Faith would help me but abeg… That got cancelled too.

To be frank, Amanda had been ringing it in my ears that we just go with a birthday brunch but that didn’t sit well with me. Now that I think about it, I can’t even process why I was so averse to it because I was looking for something different and I have actually never celebrated my birthday that way before.

So yes Cheryl (that’s your name, diary), I’ll be having a birthday brunch on Saturday! I am actually excited, lol, I’m sure you can tell. I still haven’t found a place though, good food is my aesthetic and I would rather eat good food in a mud shack that manage unpleasant food because the restaurant is Instagram worthy. Lagos restaurants can be very silly. Please, I need a place where I’d be tempted to lick my plate. Any suggestions?

In the meantime, I guess I have good reason to be excited too. I have a wish of mine that will come true on my birthday and I can barely keep still. When I think back to the last one year, God has been so freakin’ aghjkdlshgdfjkldfcagdsyueupodvcmdnvhgdslkodsckjdcfjk GOOD! I do not have the words to quantify God’s goodness, about half the ideas I had for the longest time were set into motion this past year and I look forward to bringing forth these fruits. My constant prayer is that God prepares me to receive all He has in store for me.

I remember this time last year and I could not have foreseen all that God has put in my hands. It was this year I started my mailing list to help people grow in their faith and I have consistently sent out mails everyday for a year; isn’t that God? This past season, God put it in my hands to start a Christian community for Him and when I just look at the people in JOC and the growth we’ve experienced in less than 6 months, my heart wells. This same year, I wrote two books, one of which will be out for pre-order on my birthday (that’s the wish that will be coming true on my birthday by the way πŸ˜‰ and I am delighted for the work that the Holy Spirit will do in the lives of His people through this book.)

DEEP SIGH. O por, literally.

I cannot begin to tell you how good God has been to me. It’s too much. Last month, a friend of mine mistook my birthday for a date in June; I had sort of disappeared – as usual – and he was worried I was experiencing birthday blues, the usual depression that happens to many people around their birthday. That was very sweet but his assumption could not be farther from the truth. If a colour could describe how I feel, it would be bright orange for excitement. I guess I should changed the title of this entry ‘Birthday Orange.’

I’ll be signing off now. I hope I receive plenty money on my birthday.

Toodles 🀞

Written by
Maranatha
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June 2022
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