OOf. Am I really doing this?
Deep breathe, deep breathe. Ok.
Today, I can actually take deep breathes without feeling any pain in my chest. It feels awesome, I had no idea how good it feels to breathe normally. Yesterday, my chest felt tight and I could not breathe. I thought I would die but then, panic attacks never killed anybody, right?
That’s right, I had a panic attack.
It felt like an accumulation of all the stress of the past days and weeks, it was not unexpected if I’m being honest. I have been trying to intentionally strive less and be more mindful of my actions but… yesterday happened.
I panicked because I had so much to look forward to that I began to sort of live in the future, making me grow impatient with the present. I did the things I should do with half-heartedness which was quite silly because… how do I get to that dreamy future if I do not get past this? 😅
This happened because I had got to the point where progress was now dependent not on my actions but a phase of waiting. A phase of resting. Just chill. But instead of waiting, I chose to keep striving, being a workaholic has made me feel so weird when I have to stay put.
I know now that if you do not learn how to rest, you may sabotage your own victory. Sometimes, there’s really nothing left to do but wait. Itchy hands often get hurt. Many times, you have done some work that requires you taking a pause to lay back and just chill. If you have set things in motion, you should give it time to play out and act only when necessary.
When you plant a seed, do you dig it up to check if it’s growing? Or do you wait in faith that soon, a stem will shoot out of the root? My guess is the latter.
I am learning to live each day slowly and consciously; I enjoin you to do the same. There is nothing as sweet as resting in God and watching Him work out everything for you. There is nothing as soothing as having your soul engulfed by the peace of God and knowing that even when you cannot see it, there’s intricate background work going on in order to usher you into the miracle that you have worked and prayed for.
I pray, that you learn to leave the world behind when your soul gets tired. I pray that you do not wait for your soul to get tired to reach out for Him. I pray that you make His arms your home and that you let Him make a home in your heart.
P.S – Can you do me a teeny favour? Share this post with at least ONE person, it will go a long way to spread the message of the gospel and the love of God. Thank you and may God thank you for me ❤